Bad Things Come In Threes...Or Sometimes GOOD Things

We have a date set up for Heath's surgery!!! YAY! 

On April 24th, Heath will be going in for a biopsy. This will help pull sperm for the IVF procedure.  I'm ANXIOUSLY awaiting this date.  Waiting is the hardest part in this whole process so far for me.  While I have been waiting, I have found out some troubling news.  I have a premutation of Fragile X Syndrome.  What the heck is that?????

Fragile X is a genetic developmental, learning and behavioral disorder.  It is the most widespread single-gene cause of Autism and inherited cause of intellectual disability.  BTW-Family, I don't know who I inherited the Fragile X from at this time, but we will be doing more testing in order to determine what side of the family it runs on in order to notify everyone.

What is funny, is a lot of things make more sense in my life now that I know that I have the premutation.  My social anxiety and depression can be attributed to this, and I feel a relief knowing that there is a reason I am the way I am.

There are some future risks for me such as Premature Ovarian Failure and late-onset tremors. Scary, but its the card I'm dealt, and the risks seem low.

As for reproduction, I could possibly pass on the premutation depending on which X chromosome I pass down to my children.  There is only a 2% risk of my children having a Full Mutation which is good.  

Heath and I may consider doing PGD.  Whoop Whoop!! I used a new term.  PGD is genetic testing on the embryos before implantation.  Don't know what to think of this since nothing we are doing seems natural anymore.  

On a good note, three of my fellow infertility ladies have found out they are pregnant this week!! Good things really can come in threes! So excited for these ladies as I have seen their heartbreak, tears and battles on their journey to motherhood. Happy Valentine's Day!

Eeek! I'm Nervous...

Today is my first doctor's appointment.  So far Heath has been the only one going to the doctor, so it hasn't seemed as real.  I have heard rave reviews from the KCIA girl's about the Center for Advanced Reproductive Medicine.  I can only hope that they are as good as I hear.

At the last support group, I learned that Heath and I should establish limits to how far we will go to achieve pregnancy.  We are very fortunate to have insurance that will cover some of the costs.  Some couples' brave the costs on their own! Wow, I'm in awe of these people.  Yet, for some people it is not about the cost. It becomes an irrational, emotional battle to become pregnant against all odds and better judgement.  I know that I have to set up emotional limits.  How many miscarriages will I allow myself? How long will I allow myself to struggle to get pregnant on the emotional rollercoaster.  Setting up these expectations before you begin the drugs and your hormones go whack-o will help me make more sound decisions.

I'm also in awe of how strong all the women struggling with infertility really are.  While we are twisting, drowning, gasping for breath inside, we somehow keep it together to congratulate best friends on their recent oops babies or answer questions continuously about "how many kids do you have?"  It is amazing how many women meet each other for the first time and bring up children.  How about asking about careers and hobbies?  It's amazing how insensitive women can really be without even realizing it.

This is where ladies' struggling with infertility have to shift their mindset.  Celebrate the life of your best friends' new baby...you would want her to do the same for you. Pass the lady who has a basketball tummy and skinny legs in the supermarket that seems to be following you in every isle and don't idolize her because she may have struggled to get pregnant as well.